before we write anymore...

Project: dream bunny
Page: 78


Let's hash this out.

What is the plot here? What is the primary focus? Am I doing characters or actually talking about a broader plot line? Because the way it's set up so far, I could do either. The thing is that the actual plot thing will require some more creativity on my part, and also a couple 10,000's more words. Not that I have a problem with that, necessarily...

I also don't know what's going on with Linnae and Dasin. They're coming off as total assholes, and that's so not what I had in mind. I don't want villains. I hate boxed in villains--if there's going to be a villain, I want him/her to be cringe-worthy evil, or completely sympathetic. None of this ready-to-hate easy nonsense. Let's be a good writer here.

I realize the inherent problem with first-person point of view is the bias and the narrow scope, and I knew that going in. What I'm having a problem with is impatience and the natural personality flaws of the narrator. She's impatient and currently completely self-absorbed, so it's hard for me to show that there are other things going on around her that influence others' actions.

All of my characters have some major flaws, I think, especially in this. Nothing melodramatic or traumatizing, but just little things. Egocentrism. Impatience. Elitism. Even some sexism thrown in. It's hard to portray that accurately through first-person without coming across as shallow or too omniscient.

I think I know how to draw everything together in regard to the over-arching plot, but I'm not sure I can do it justice. I want it to look like overkill and it end up to be almost negligible in its far-reaching effects because that sort of let-down amuses me, but seeing as the narrator just doesn't care aside from its impacts on her personal life... Argh.

But then, that's just proving what she's been saying all along-- she'd be a terrible queen and she knows it.

I guess I need to sketch out my goals, then.

Analinn needs to disinherit herself without making an overdramatic fiasco of it, but without it coming off so easy that her years of panic and deliberation aren't undermined. Also, without making her parents look like total assholes.

Nemaira needs to fulfill her hostage fate without jumping the shark, too.

Why Analinn and Jarik can kick so much ass needs to be explored.

I think Jarik is coming off too much as a jerk, but I'm not sure. I don't want him to be super-amazing-perfect-boyfriend, though. He's got to be as flawed as Analinn.


I'm just afraid that I understand my world and the background, but the hypothetical reader won't get a thing. I hate exposition, and I'm pretty careful to include it in at least a moderately natural way, but I still get this idea that too much is being taken for granted. I'm fairly confident that the emotional hostage thing is coming across; the only times Linnae and Dasin are seen being encouraging to Analinn is when they think she's behaving herself. It's a basic reward system.

Need to figure out what's going on with Yanna and Dela. Dela really is a selfish brat of a baby sister, but at some point I guess I need to show some positive characteristics. Janae has fleshed herself out, as has Linnana, but I got nothin' on Yanna. Introverted, overwhelmed by her sisters' flashy personalities... ?? She really is that quiet girl that's supposed to get whisked away by the sweet, handsome prince who helps her out of that shell, but I'm not sure I want to go that route. She needs a moment to shine. Maybe she and Jena can do something.

The road is a little clearer now. Maybe. At the least, I have headlights on.

And now... which of you muses are obsessed with Pour Some Sugar On Me? Really?


I'm going to end up writing my own fanfiction. Watch.