let's just face it

Word count:
Project:


...Flashback will be pantsed and it's a clusterfuck.

I've organized my files, at least. I had some brainstorming in the car--Keely really likes Alter Bridge. Fun fact! So I wrote that down. I made a character relationship chart out of Sharpies and a few highlighters for the minor characters. It only took me three tries.

I'm not infatuated with it, although the loose form is slowly taking shape. I've gone through THREE outline drafts. And by outline, I mean a list of desired scenes in more or less chronological order with suggestions of motivations and consequences to give me branch off points. However, when I actively start working on it or thinking about it--or making a playlist with Rabbies--I do get excited. Fingers crossed.


I read a book. Part of me is aghast that ZOMG SOMEONE STOLE MY STORIES. It's... basically Sinistral and Flashback mooshed together. Only in fantasy Spain. With religion. And more violence. And a plot. This is where I have to be mature, realize that I'm not all that creative relatively speaking, and understand that Rae Carson told one story. I'm telling two others. Analinn never is queen; she's never much of anything, status-wise, and that's how it ends. Keely is by no means a leader and spends most of her time functionally traumatized and hardly brilliant. But, once I got over it, that was absolutely FASCINATING to read if only because of Sinistral and Flashback. It was fun to see what someone else did with similar basic ideas. (Give it a plot, that's what.)

(And I only recognized the setting of Spain because of the research I've done for Flashback. Oooops.)


So I might have a sketch for Flashback. Very exciting, it is. It might be the purest lit fic I've ever written, which is exciting in its own right. And no, I am NOT going to be obsessing over form and style. I'm going to tell the damn story, however it wants to come out. I'd like some kind of arc, though, to tie it all together, however loosely. That's what I'm pondering right now. But it's hard to have a pretty line from point A to point B when you don't have a point B. Come to meee, point B! Although I know, I know, I won't know point B until I trip over it, and I'll find the line in hindsight. The line is my theme. I should probably better define it. It's a bit twisty, sort of braided. I have a collection of motifs; I do not have a theme. Yet. Remember, a motif is a sentence fragment; a theme is a complete sentence. So despite how much I would like it to be, the corruptive power of love is not a theme. And the quote about terrorists is vague as hell.

So alright, Keely. Talk to me. What are you learning here?

Song lyrics are not an answer.

Although I sort of want to rename it May You Fall. Really sort of want to name it that. It can be renamed once I know what I'm talking about.

Yes, I am chewing my lip and staring at the computer screen, listening to Words Darker Than Their Wings on repeat 1.

WHAT THE HELL AM I TRYING TO SAY HERE


uugghh off to go put up some clean clothes.